


The Cheese Stands Alone

by JerseyGirl



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Established Relationship, Food Kink, Food Porn, Food Sex, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-03
Updated: 2015-02-03
Packaged: 2018-03-10 09:07:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3284717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JerseyGirl/pseuds/JerseyGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve.</p><p>Spray cheese.</p><p>Who knew?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Cheese Stands Alone

**Author's Note:**

> I have NO idea...
> 
> I'm being silly here, assuming they wouldn't have something as disgusting as spray cheese on Oahu. LOL Hey, it's all made up anyway. Creative license. :)

“You flew to California to get spray cheese.”

Steve's tongue darts out and wets his lips. Danny's never seen him look so uneasy. “Yes?”

Danny pinches the bridge of his nose. “Tell me you got something more than--” He peers into the bag Steve's holding in his hand. “--four cans of fake air-compressed cheese.”

Danny sees the color creeping up his partner’s tanned skin, starting at the hollow of his throat, solidly reddening up his neck until it envelops his entire face.

“I got a variety,” Steve says, color instantly returning to normal as excitement takes over. He reaches into the bag, pulls out a can and says, “American!” as he hands it to Danny.

Danny looks at it, then at Steve in disbelief. Steve pulls out a second can. “Mild cheddar!” he announces proudly, shoving that into Danny's free hand.

The third can is verbally labeled as “Sharp cheddar!” and Danny's fully aware, as the can joins his hand with the American flavor, that Steve seems just a bit too excited. His partner’s “And bacon cheddar!” which leaves Steve pretty breathless for someone who's been standing still for ten minutes, finally makes Danny think he knows why Steve's so excited.

“So,” Danny says, leaving his stern cop voice in place for the time being, “let me get this straight.” He takes two of the cans and drops them back into the back still hanging from Steve's hand.

He presses the little tab on the remaining can's lid. It clicks and yes, that's it right there. Steve flinches. Danny steps right into his personal space, thumb flicking the cap to somewhere in the vast expanse of their bedroom.

“You flew five hours to San Francisco and back, on a military plane that just happened to be going your way,” he says, and knows his scowl is convincing, “to buy--” Danny waves the can in front of Steve's face. “--this.”

Steve's Adam's apple bobs up and down as he swallows. “Yes?” That sounds more high-pitched than usual.

“And.” Yes, Danny's well aware of the fact that his voice is suddenly lower in response. “And you desperately needed this fake, stringy, canned Kraft condiment because?” So he likes making Steve squirm. Who wouldn't?

Danny puts his fingers on the small, thin white tube extending from the top of the can when Steve fails to answer the question. He presses it very lightly and the resulting whoosh of air turns his partner’s eyes dark with want.

Steve tries to take a step back but his legs are already flush with the bed. “Danny,” he growls, voice already wrecked.

“Mm?” Danny asks, fingers finding the hem of Steve's black tee shirt. In one swift movement the shirt is bunched up under Steve's armpits and Danny shoves him so he falls onto the bed with an “Oomph!”

The bag that's in Steve's hand falls to the carpeted floor with a thud. His eyes are wide and his tongue darts out to lick his lips as Danny crawls onto the bed. He pins Steve's legs together at the knees between his own two thighs and shakes the can of cheese.

Danny knows the instant Steve's mouth's gone dry. There's a hitch in his breathing and a twitch of his lips and Steve's fingers spread out, grabbing handfuls of sheets and balling them into fists.

Time to go in for the kill. Danny tilts the can at a forty-five degree angle, and holds it a quarter-inch above Steve’s skin, just under the gathered fabric of his shirt. Right between his pecs is where the first line of cheese lands, squirting out of the can like its own kind of come and damn if the SEAL’s abs don't flutter in response.

Danny bends slowly forward and flattens his tongue on Steve's chest right under the line of cheese. Slowly he licks upward and Steve's stuttering breaths are his only response. His eyes are wide, pupils blown, as he stares at the can. Danny lowers it to be near enough he knows Steve will feel the compressed air cool his flesh milliseconds before the cheese hits it.

“Mmm, cheddar,” Danny rumbles around the glob in his mouth, and Steve moans.

He makes wide arcs and tiny circles with the can, channeling his inner Monet, and notices every single tremor of the big bad Navy man’s muscles in response. His fingers are jerking like he wants to make Danny go faster. His arms are tensing like he wants to grab the can from Danny and throw it across the room to shatter the mirror; to make Danny stop.

He bites down on his lip, and Danny wonders if he'll taste the hot metal of drawn blood in Steve's mouth when he kisses him after. Another long ribbon of cheese in a U shape from Steve's right nipple to his left but oh, Danny's not listening to the strangled sound from his partner’s throat as he dollops a tall peak of cheese over one hardened bud and does the same to its twin. No, Danny has plans. Steve had to have it? Well, Danny would give it to him. In spades.

The elastic waistband of Steve's workout shorts stretches wide enough for Danny to hurry them down Steve's legs; briefs a lot tighter as Danny forcibly lifts Steve’s thighs with the fabric and jerks them down and away.

He's not going to pay any attention to the rock-hard problem standing at attention between them. Not yet. Danny has somewhere else in mind first. And Danny can see in Steve's eyes the second before he shoves his thighs apart, that Steve knows.

Danny hikes his forearm under Steve's knees, shoves his legs back, tilts his hips up and points the can directly at Steve's puckered entrance. The tiny muscles there react convulsively, the tip of the can barely nudged into the sphincter. And Danny presses down on the white tube.

Danny can't even describe the sounds Steve makes as the cheese squeezes itself into his body until it's made a nice, round ball of itself in between Steve’s taut glutes.

“Don't. Move,” Danny orders, and Steve stills beneath him.

Danny can tell there's not much cheese left in the can and thank God, because even Danny Williams has his limits, and one of them is just laying here begging to be licked and fucked into oblivion.

Steve's cock is standing so upright on its own that Danny doesn't have to touch it to get every inch covered with what's left of the cheese. He holds the white tube directly over the slit at the tip of Steve's length and pushes against it with his thumb.

The resulting puff of air and smattering of tiny bits of cheese make Steve's hips buck wildly. Danny follows the movement, a long, thin string of cheese around the smooth head of Steve's cock; a ring just under the ridge; round and round his entire length until, right at the base where curly dark hair begins, the can splutters itself empty.

Danny takes a moment to eye the man splayed out for him like a fucking buffet. He eases himself around to Steve's side, chucking the can into the air behind him. It clatters against the dresser, leaves the only sounds his and Steve's ragged breathing as their eyes meet.

“This is why you went to San Francisco for canned cheese,” Danny growls and hell, who's he kidding, because if he can last long enough to lick every inch of this off Steve, he deserves a medal for endurance above and beyond. “Isn't it?” he asks, ducking his head to lick a dollop of cheese off Steve's left nipple.

Steve's hissed response sounds enough like a yes for Danny to give him that one. “And this—” Danny licks a stripe up the left side of Steve's abdomen, cutting a swath through the haphazard lines Danny piled there himself. “--is why you went for the cheese.”

The strangled “Ungh!” torn from his long-time lover’s throat is not the yes Danny was wanting, but his own cock is throbbing and fuck if he'll make it through the entire smorgasbord. Within seconds he's got his own shorts and briefs off and is lowered over Steve's body again.

Danny makes a nice, long path from Steve’s sternum to his navel, curving back up to bite around the mound of cheese from his right nipple. His teeth catch it purposely and Steve's hands try to grab at him. But Danny moves into the space between Steve's spread legs too fast to be caught.

Steve's head is pressing back into the mattress, eyes squeezed shut, every inch of exposed flesh quaking as Danny licks from the base of his cock, tracing the thick blue vein the length of him. Steve bucks again, a keening noise escaping his lips.

“Fuck!” Steve spits at him and Danny grins, opens his mouth wide and takes Steve's cock all the way to the back of his throat in one fast move, then comes right back up.

His hands force Steve's legs back and wide, exposing the blob of cheese squashed into the crack of his ass. Danny buries his face there, licking and biting even as his own cock throbs in response to the torrent of words spewing from Steve's mouth.

He hears, “Fuck, yes, fuck,” and, “Fucking bastard!” and “Please, Danny,” and every word of foulness Steve knows as he presses his tongue as deep into Steve's hole as he can get.

Velvety smooth, sticky and soft, the processed cheese mixing with the familiar musk that is Steve himself. It's all Danny can do not to take his cock in hand and relieve his own misery.

But he's a man on a mission, and that mission's over when he says it is. So he lifts his head, murmurs and gasps and shouts from his partner filling his ears as he deep-throats Steve's cock, tongue licking every inch up and down. Scooping cheese into his mouth as his lips smooth the hard shaft clean.

One more thing left to do and he can hold out long enough to do it. He licks down from the base of Steve’s cock, over his tightened, heavy balls, across his perineum. Steve writhes beneath him, so Danny digs his fingers into the backs of Steve's thighs, causing a whimper his partner was never going to admit to under any matter of duress once this was over.

Tongue out and held pointed, Danny dives into Steve's tight hole. Steve yells obscenities, then platitudes, and then nothing but gibberish as Danny sucks greedily at the cheese coming out of his ass. And no, that right there should not even come as close to being as fucking dirty-hot as it is. Danny's willpower goes out the window when Steve pleads with him, begs him to let him come.

There's too much cheese left on Steve's chest and stomach to just rut cock to cock, so Danny hoists his partner’s legs high into the air, positions his aching cock at Steve's hole and slides completely into him, one rough shove, balls-deep.

Steve's restraint melts away and Danny pounds hard, snapping his hips with each thrust. It forces Steve's body up the bed an inch at a time, head thrashing side to side, sweat making his hair darker at the edges. Steve's lost his ability to form coherent words as his body shakes, rippling with each desperate movement.

Danny raises Steve's legs even higher, goes pre-verbal as his eyes squeeze shut, mouth hangs open, brow furrows. The tingling at the base of Danny's spine explodes when he hits Steve's prostate and ribbons of his partner’s semen shoot high into the air, falling in its own strings to the sheets, Steve's stomach and his chest.

Danny hits one, two, three more deep into Steve's body and his own vision goes white. Steve's spasms draw every drop of Danny's come out of him, leaving Danny gasping like a dying fish.

There are many, many minutes that pass before Danny becomes aware of consciousness enough that he realizes Steve's gone quiet and still beneath him. His eyelids peel themselves open, tremors in his legs and arms threatening to faceplant him into the cheese still clinging to his partner’s sweat-soaked body.

Steve looks at Danny through half-lidded eyes as he rakes his finger through a line of cheese on his stomach and sucks it into his mouth. Danny groans at the sight and wonders if he's about to set a record for how fast he can get hard again.

“Next time,” Steve says, voice hoarse and vibrating through Danny's overly-stimulated body, “I'm buying an entire case of this shit.”

Danny is oh, so screwed.


End file.
